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Friday, March 10th 2006

9:15 AM

The Other Me

Brace yourself for a slightly nonsensical post. You've been warned.

Yesterday, while working at the library, I shelved a paperback and caught sight of one on my own--SEDUCED. My local library owns copies of JINXED, CHARMED, and SEDUCED. They ordered LASSO THE MOON. It should be in soon. Anyway, all three of my books have been missing from the stacks for a couple of months. Why? Because people keep checking them out! Woo-hoo!  JINXED and CHARMED are still out, but there sat SEDUCED right next to several Tom Clancy novels.  I had a surreal moment. I mean I was there working as a library assistant, looking at a copy of a book I'd written, a book patrons keep checking out to read. So far, I think only one patron knows that Beth the library assistant is the same Beth who writes those funny, sexy romance novels. Luckily, that patron, loved my books. What's even nicer, is that she doesn't read romance--mine were the first. She typically reads mysteries or more mainstream suspense. Here I'd been worried that she'd be shocked by the graphic language and sex, but all she said was how funny and refreshing they were. A really great moment for me. But I digress...

So I'm standing there admiring my book sitting next to Clancy's book, and I had the overwhelming urge to skim a page--of me, not Clancy. So I did. The moment became even more surreal. I didn't recognize what I read. It's not like I wrote it ten years ago. SEDUCED hasn't even been out for a year. But as I read, well it was like reading someone else's book for the first time. I didn't remember writing these passages, although I know I did. I didn't recognize the way certain words were strung together. The thoughts. The actions. It didn't seem like something I'd write, but I did. I stood there, reading, thinking, "Who's this Beth Ciotta person?" 

It was an incredibly strange feeling and it got me wondering, when I sit at my laptop and open my WIP, when the characters take over, when I'm in 'the zone'--am I really just in touch with another part of myself? The 'other me'? I confess, I'm still a bit weirded out by the experience. I'm thinking, I wish I knew the 'other me' a little better because she's ... I don't know, kind of cool. Hipper, edgier, funnier, deeper than the every day 'me'. The me I know. 

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Have you ever done something or said something or wrote something and thought, where did this come from? Who is this person? Who am I? As I write this, my mind is wandering down the spiritual, paranormal woo-woo path. Maybe, just maybe, the 'other me' is a me from a past life. Maybe I'm benefiting from her experiences, her humor, her intellect. Whoever she was, I'm glad she was. She's helping me live my dream.    

21 comment(s).

Posted by Cyndi:

Cool post, B. I think that when we are in true flow, we rise above our personalities and into our subconcious. Not only that but I think we also plug into a collective ... a general human experience from the dawn of man. There are things we can all recognize in each other, and then there are the things that we are naturally drawn to ... without thinking. And I think that is what it boils down to ... you weren't thinking. You were in that flow. You were simply being.

I love those moments and hope to have plenty more of them. I am always as astounded as you when I think, how did I write that? Because that means we did what we came to do, and that's the inexplicable part of writing. The writing that makes it not for everyone. It's the how to help get there that we can all talk about ... but the 'there' is its own entity. Something beyond us yet a part of us.

OK, enough hoke. But I too cherish those moments. They are priceless!

Love, C
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 10:24 AM

Posted by Jen Elbaum:

How cool for you Beth! (Clancy isn't bad company to be keeping!)

I've found stuff I've written that I have to read again because I don't remember it and I wantto know how it ends, so I know the feeling.

Maybe you've just handed an eviction notice to those characters to make room for your new tenants?

Either way, celebrate your success!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 10:32 AM

Posted by Bethany:

This happens to me quite often. For instance, my blog. Ha! Or my latest work in progress.
I get this weird sense of deja vu. Like where did SHE come from? And yeah, when people meet me in person--they will be utterly disappointed.
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 12:05 PM

Posted by Jordan Summers:

I had something similar happen when I read a book I wrote in 2003. I didn't feel like someone else wrote it, but I was surprised that I thought it wasn't bad. *ggg* As an aside, I have written stuff in first person that I'm convinced can't be coming from me because my writing voice changes so drastically. :-O
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 5:22 PM

Posted by Anonymous:

I can't believe your writing seems that different to you! I think your blog and your books have the same style of writing, but your blog is a little more personal and conversational. (As it should; it's a blog.)

I think every writer experiences those "in the zone" moments--no matter on which level they write. I know that I've seen stuff I've written a couple months later and it doesn't seem like a topic I would've approached, or contains words that I wouldn't normally use...but it's there, staring back at you from the pages.

Quick question (I asked Cyndi, too): How was writing with a partner? Was it easier/harder than writing by yourself? Did you have problems matching writing styles? How'd you divide the writing? Just curious.

btw, how's the synopsis coming?
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 7:42 PM

Posted by Beth:

Cyndi, I absolutely love the way your mind works! Not hoke. Thought provoking.

Jen, yeah,I always have the thought that I'm hanging in good company. Clancy and me. Heh-heh. With Mary Higgins Clark near by. Hoping to read one of your screen plays one day. Better yet to SEE one!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 7:51 PM

Posted by Beth:

Bethany, I can't imagine anyone is ever disappointed when they meet you! And hey, congrats again on signing with that awesome agency!

Jordan, I'd love to read your first-person work. I bet it rocks!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 7:53 PM

Posted by Beth:

Okay. Who's 'anonymous?' Stacie? I have deduced this because A) You commented to another post a few minutes ago. B) I know you've read all my books. And C) I know you're a fan of Cyndi's blog. Am I right? Wrong? Fess up anon!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 7:56 PM

Posted by Beth:

oh, Anon, I have a link for you. An interview with Cyndi and I as CB Scott. It's at the Romance Readers Connection and it tells you how we wrote together and other cool stuff. Go here:
http://www.theromancereadersconnection.com/aotm/authorofthemonthscottcb.html
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 8:04 PM

Posted by Roni:

Beth, you probably become your characters, and that's why they sound like themselves and not necessarily like you. I think most of us writers do that when we reach a certain level...I don't know if it's projection, a person you were in a past life or your imagination soaring--it could be any one of those theories! But you become one with the character you are writing about. BTW I had a difficult week at work and some hassles, so I am going to now go and immerse myself in "Seduced". Your books ALWAYS help me forget my toubles!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 10:03 PM

Posted by Stacie Taylor:

Oops-yeah, that was me. I have no idea how it ended up as anonymous; I filled in my member info. Electronics have been malfunctioning around me lately!
Friday, March 10th 2006 @ 11:11 PM

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